Talking to Parents About Mental Health Concerns, Therapy, and Assessments
Why These Conversations Are Hard
Discussing mental health concerns with parents can feel delicate—especially when suggesting therapy or assessment. Parents may feel defensive, guilty, or worried about "labeling" their child. Cultural stigma around mental health can add another layer of complexity.
These scripts are designed to help you open the conversation with empathy, clarity, and collaboration—not judgment.
General Principles for Difficult Conversations
✓ Lead with Observation, Not Diagnosis
Share what you're seeing, not what you think is "wrong." Use specific, observable behaviors rather than clinical labels.
✓ Frame It as Support, Not Failure
Position therapy/assessment as a tool to help the student thrive, not evidence that something is broken.
✓ Invite Collaboration
Ask if parents are seeing similar things at home. Make it a partnership, not a one-way report.
✓ Acknowledge Cultural Context
If you sense cultural stigma around mental health, name it gently and normalize seeking support.
Script 1: Suggesting Therapy for Adjustment Struggles
Scenario: A new student is struggling with transition beyond the typical adjustment period
"Thank you for meeting with me. I wanted to check in about how [student name] is doing. I know they're new to the school, and transition can be really hard—especially for students who've moved a lot.
What I'm noticing is that [specific behaviors: e.g., they've been pretty withdrawn in class, having difficulty connecting with peers, and seem to be struggling emotionally]. It's been about [timeframe], and I'm wondering if you're seeing similar things at home?
[Pause for parent response]
I think it might be helpful for [student name] to talk to someone who specializes in supporting students through transitions—someone who can give them tools for managing the stress and help them feel more settled here. Many students benefit from just a few sessions to work through the adjustment.
This isn't about anything being 'wrong'—it's about giving them support during a genuinely hard time. What do you think?"
✓ DO SAY
"Transition is genuinely hard, even for resilient kids."
"I'm seeing some signs that they might need extra support right now."
"This is really common—many students benefit from therapy during transitions."
✗ DON'T SAY
"Your child has a problem."
"They're not adjusting well." (sounds like judgment)
"If you don't get help, things will get worse." (creates fear/defensiveness)
Script 2: Recommending a Psycho-Educational Assessment
Scenario: A student is struggling academically despite interventions
"I wanted to talk with you about [student name]'s progress. We've been working with them for the past [timeframe] on [specific supports: e.g., reading support, extra time on assignments], and while they're putting in a lot of effort, we're not seeing the progress we'd expect.
I'm wondering if it would be helpful to get a clearer picture of how [student name] learns best. A psycho-educational assessment can help us understand their strengths and identify any areas where they might need different kinds of support.
This isn't about labeling or saying something is 'wrong'—it's about making sure we're giving them the right tools to succeed. The assessment looks at things like how they process information, their academic skills, and any learning differences that might be affecting their performance.
Have you noticed similar struggles at home with homework or reading?"
✓ DO SAY
"We want to make sure we're supporting them in the right way."
"An assessment gives us a roadmap for how to help."
"Many students have learning differences—it doesn't mean they're not smart."
✗ DON'T SAY
"I think your child has a learning disability." (too definitive without assessment)
"They're behind their peers." (creates shame)
"If we don't test them, they'll fall further behind." (fear-based)
Script 3: Addressing Anxiety or Depression
Scenario: A student is showing signs of anxiety or depression
"I wanted to touch base with you because I've noticed some changes in [student name] over the past few weeks. They seem [specific observations: more withdrawn than usual, frequently tearful, avoiding participation in class], and I'm a bit concerned.
I know this age can be tough, and there's a lot of pressure on students. But what I'm seeing feels like it might be more than typical stress. Are you noticing anything similar at home—changes in mood, sleep, appetite, or how they're feeling about school?
[Pause for parent response]
I think it might be really helpful for [student name] to talk to a therapist—someone who can help them work through what they're feeling and give them tools for managing anxiety/stress/difficult emotions. Early support can make a huge difference, and it doesn't have to be long-term—sometimes just a few sessions can really help.
Would you be open to exploring that?"
If Parents Resist
"I understand that therapy might not be something you're familiar with, and I respect that. What I can say is that I've seen it make a real difference for students who are struggling emotionally. If you're not ready for that step yet, maybe we can check in again in a few weeks and see how things are going?"
Script 4: Urgent Mental Health Concerns (Self-Harm, Suicidal Ideation)
Scenario: A student has disclosed self-harm or suicidal thoughts
"Thank you for coming in so quickly. I need to talk with you about something serious. [Student name] shared with me today that they've been [specific disclosure: having thoughts of hurting themselves / thinking about suicide / engaging in self-harm].
I want you to know that I've already taken steps to make sure they're safe right now, and I'm grateful they felt comfortable telling me. But this is something that requires immediate professional support—beyond what we can provide at school.
I'm going to strongly recommend that you connect with a mental health professional today. I can provide you with names of therapists who specialize in working with adolescents and can see [student name] quickly.
I know this is scary to hear, but getting help early is the most important thing we can do right now. Do you have questions for me?"
✗ DON'T SAY (in crisis situations)
"I think they're just going through a phase." (minimizes severity)
"Let's wait and see if it gets better." (delays necessary intervention)
"They're probably just looking for attention." (invalidates student's pain)
Script 5: Navigating Cultural Stigma Around Mental Health
Scenario: You sense cultural resistance to therapy
"I know that in some cultures, seeking therapy isn't common or might carry some stigma. I want to acknowledge that, and I respect your family's values.
What I can tell you is that therapy for children and adolescents is really about teaching skills—how to manage stress, communicate feelings, navigate challenges. It's less about 'fixing a problem' and more about building tools that help them thrive.
I've seen therapy make a significant difference for students in similar situations, and I believe it could really help [student name] feel more confident and settled. I'm happy to answer any questions you have about what therapy would actually look like, or connect you with a provider who understands your family's cultural background."
Offering Culturally-Informed Referrals
When possible, refer to therapists who understand the family's cultural context. For TCK families, recommend providers with experience supporting internationally mobile families.
Example: "Marble Psychological Services specializes in working with international families and students navigating cross-cultural experiences. They understand the unique challenges your family is facing."
Script 6: Following Up After a Referral
Scenario: Checking in after recommending therapy or assessment
"I wanted to follow up on our conversation last week about [therapy/assessment] for [student name]. Have you had a chance to think about it or reach out to anyone?
[If they haven't taken action:]
I understand it can be hard to take that first step. If it would be helpful, I'm happy to send you contact information for [specific provider/service] or help you navigate the process.
[If they have taken action:]
That's great to hear. Please feel free to let the therapist/assessor know they can reach out to me if they need any information about how [student name] is doing at school. With your permission, I'd also love to stay in the loop so we can make sure our support at school aligns with what they're working on in therapy."
Key Takeaways
Lead with empathy and collaboration—you're partners in supporting the student
Use specific, observable behaviors—avoid diagnostic language
Normalize seeking support—many students benefit from therapy or assessment
Respect parental autonomy—you can recommend, but they make the final decision
Acknowledge cultural context—be sensitive to stigma and family values
Follow up—check in to see if they need additional support or resources
